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What advice do you give to a person in the following situation:
She is divorced from her ex husband and has embraced Islam for she has relied the truth and she was guided to the right path, Al Hamdulilah, her conversion is kept secret from her family for obvious reasons and her two children whom she has custody of are still Hindu because her ex husband would rather kill her than see his children embrace Islam. He is strong enemy of Islam and has sworn our deen and ALLAH on a few occasions. She is now in love with a religious and well mannered Muslim man who has asked her to marry him. The problem is that his parents object to their marriage because the mother feels that the lady in question is a convert and that converts don’t make good muslims. In fact her exact words were “They will never be one of us” If they do decide to make Nikaah can they for these reasons keep their marriage a secret. The man who has asked for her hand in marriage says that he will accept her children provided they embrace Islam because two religions cannot be practiced in one house especially when the other one is idol worship and I can’t agree with him more. How do these two people who love each other make a life of their own.
His parents are a problem on the one hand and the ex husband not wanting the children to embrace Islam is another problem.
My friend does not want to give up custody of her children because her ex husband is abusive. Please advise our sister as soon as possible as she is suffering from depression and sleepless nights.
May ALLAH bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Jazak Allah

Answer

Praise be to Allaah.

First of all, we would like to congratulate our sister for embracing Islam, which is the joy for which wealth and souls would be sacrificed, for all the blessing of Islam makes all grief and distress fade into insignificance.

The sister says that she loves a Muslim man. We say: it is not appropriate for a Muslim woman to fall into the trap of nonsensical emotions and forbidden relationships into which others fall. The love which people hear about and read about is one of the dazzling tricks of the Shaytaan, and it usually happens with regard to things that Allaah has forbidden. If a man finds that he likes a girl, the only option he has is to ask her guardian (walee) for permission to marry her.

The man’s mother’s comment that new Muslims cannot be good Muslims is false. Were the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) anything but new Muslims, given that prior to their Islam they had been believers in Shirk? Does any Muslim have any doubts about their commitment to religion and their character? Moreover, we see that many new Muslims are many times better than many (born) Muslims! Just because a Muslim is new does not mean that he will never be good, and just because a Muslim is born in Islam does not mean that he is good. What counts is Taqwa (piety, awareness of Allaah) and righteous deeds, as well as the length of time one has been in Islam and has been worshipping Allaah.

There is no reason why knowledge of the man’s marriage should not be withheld from his parents, especially since this is in the interests of the sister and there are so few people who can help her to overcome her difficulties. It is the woman who needs a walee according to sharee’ah, not the man. However, we would prefer that he wins his family’s approval by convincing them, because this is in their best interests, benefits which may be lost if they find out that their son concealed his marriage from them.

The fact that the husband says he wants to call the children to Islam is good. We ask Allaah to help him to achieve this. The fact that the Hindu father is evil is sufficient reason for him not to make an open display of his calling the children to Islam, if that could lead to this kaafir taking the children away by going to the kaafir courts. You have to act with wisdom in this case.

The woman who is asking this question should not arrange her own marriage even if she has been previously married, because sharee’ah does not permit this. If she does not have a walee as required by sharee’ah, then her walee may be the qaadi (judge) or whoever is in charge of the Muslim affairs in her country, such as the head of the Islamic centre or his deputy.

They – especially the sister – have to seek the help of Allaah in dealing with these problems which are giving her sleepless nights. Everyone should know that whoever puts his trust in Allaah, Allaah will show him a way out. She has to make du’aa’ sincerely, and he has to try as hard as he can to advise his family and change their views about new Muslims by showing them real examples of people who are the opposite of what they think. With regard to the tragedy caused by the former husband, we advise her again not to make an open display of her calling the children to Islam, lest that should cause the father to do something that will have bad consequences. If they feel suspicious about his intentions, there is no harm in calling the police to do whatever is necessary with regard to him.

If getting married means that the sister will lose her right to custody of her children, we advise her not to get married now, for fear that these two souls may end up in Hell in the Hereafter – unless she fears that she herself may commit some immoral action, in which case she should marry the Muslim man whom she has told us about, with witnesses and a walee as we have stated above. Publicizing the marriage is sunnah, although it does not have to be announced officially and in writing. But this sister has to live in a protective Muslim environment and those people will have to know about her marriage lest she bring upon herself gossip about her honour. If it will be better for her to leave the place where her ex-husband lives and move to another place where she can be free, have custody of her children and be able to marry a believing Muslim man who will protect her and her children, then she should do that.

She has to make du’aa’ and turn to Allaah to relieve her distress and grief. We pray that Allaah will give her the strength to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Popularity: 18% [?]

Assalamu Alaikum

I have been practicing Islam for a while now and I want to insha-Allah embrace it but there are serious problems that I am encountering. My husband and I have been having marital problems for a while now and even though things are going alright I don’t trust that it would be like this forever because he has these violent ourbursts of rage and I have seriously considered divorcing him after I was advised to do so by our councellor.
The problem is that I don’t love him anymore and moreover he won’t allow me to embrace Islam and he refuses to embrace it as well. He said that we would rather break up rather than me becoming Muslim. The other problem is that I have two daughters who are attending a Hindu School and what does the Sharia say about what happens after I convert with regards to my daughters. I have met a wonderful Muslim man and we love each other very much and he asked me twice already to marry him. I did not go to bed with him and that is not our intention. We love each other for who we are and he is willing to accept my children if they convert as well. He said that he will wait until the end of the year before he goes on with his life because there are other women who he can settle down with but I am his first preference.

Please advice me and in English please because I do not understand Arabic. I need to take action about so many things, yet I feel guilty and I feel sorry for my husband because he is trying to make our marraige to work. Unfortunately the religion is a big problem.

Your urgent help and co operation will be highly appeciated.

Jazak Allah

Answer

Popularity: 3% [?]

One of the fears most converts have after and even before converting to Islam is, “How do I tell my parents that I have become a Muslim ?”

Sister Aneesah asked this question and other convert members of muslimconverts.com forum explained their experience and gave some very good advice.

Question

Hello sisters, my name is Aneesah I am a converted Muslim, married with 3 children. I have an extremely happy life and marriage.

Unfortunately I have never told my mother that I converted to Islam. My mother is not racist but she is very narrow minded and I don?t think she would understand, could anyone help with this or maybe give some insight into their own experiences.

Aneesah Iqbal

Replies

salaam alykum sister,

I am also a recent convert and I had so much fear of telling my family and certain people out of how they would react. Me and my husband prayed for Allah to help make it easier on me. So I started with my mother and just kind of told her that you know I was wanting to convert and after the research I have done, I felt like Islam was best for me.

To my surprise she said whatever you decide is right for you. I am not to judge. So then I had to go to work in hijab and I was so scared. I actually drove around the building for 30 minutes before I came in. Then I had some friends (non Muslims) who were very supportive and then I had some that made comments out of lack of knowledge of Islam.

I got my feelings hurt and came into the privacy of my own office and wanted to cry but I decided at that moment who am I doing this for?

Surely not for anyone of them and I am not a child but a woman who has a right to do what needs to be done to better myself. I tried to remember that their reaction is only out of lack of knowledge because had I converted from Christian to catholic (which they new more about) their reaction may not be that shocking or negative.

So I tried to give them pamphlets to help them understand why Islam is so beautiful to me. But my grandmother on other hand it has been harder like their has been recent coverage on the news about so called members of the Muslim community killing their children or this or that. So she called to try to make me see that maybe my decision was not good so I explained kindly to her that for one you can not believe everything that you see on the television including news, for 2 Islam does not promote death or abuse, and 3rd every single day on television there are people committing crimes from different religions and she has never once mentioned don?t be a member of them.

I tried to explain that just because someone calls themselves Muslim (whether he is or not) and does something that is haram or that is wrong does not mean that every person in the religion is that away you can not judge a group by ones actions.

To me today its ok if she does not understand that right now. I believe that as I grow in knowledge of Islam and as she sees my husband and I more then maybe her opinion of Islam will change and maybe one day herself she will be able to have Islam change her life the way its beginning to change mine but I am Muslim and I am because its right for me and its what Allah says no other reason.

May Allah make it easy on you.

wa’ allikium salaam

sister ayshia

Hello Aneesah,

I am in somewhat of a similar situation. I have told my family that I am serious about my boyfriend who is Muslim in Egypt. My mother’s first question was, “Does he make You happy?” I said yes Mom he makes me very happy. That is really what she wants for me. I should hope your mother and family would also be able to see that your husband

Makes you happy and you are blessed with 3 children. I would be very open and tell them to ask questions. You may also buy a book that explains Islam so they can become educated. I truly believe that will help.

My best wishes to you but I have no doubt Allah will be with you and guide you Through this.

Take care,

Rebecca

To sister Aneesah,

I don?t think there is ever a right time to tell you?re mum, you cant hide it forever, you should be proud that you are now a Muslim not everyone can be guided towards Islam.

I told mine before I converted, I just sat her down and told her that I was going to be making some changes that she may or may not like but that?s what I had decided and it was final. maybe you could get her a book to explain about Islam, if she still is narrow minded after reading the book at least you tried. you are her daughter and she should love you unconditionally even if she doesn?t accept it.

Aisha Khan

Assalamu alaykoum sister Aneesah!

I embraced Islam almost 7 years ago and Alhamdulillah things are better now with my Mom in regards to my faith. Everybody else in my family didn’t show too much discomfort (mostly once I started wearing the hijab), but my Mom was extremely disturbed.

It was very hard for the first few years, but now Alhamdulillah she’s a lot better about it. With time, things usually get better. I know some sisters who’s mothers were actually encouraging them to wear the hijab and/or pray. So each person is different.

I would suggest to tell your Mom how excited you are that you have discovered this wonderful religion, and that you hope to practice fully. Hopefully Insha-Allah she’ll see the beauty in the religion. If she’s difficult about it, be patient and kind with her, hopefully Insha-Allah with time she’ll see the benefits and how you’ve become a better person. May Allah guide you to do what’s right, and make things go well Insha-Allah.

Your sister,

Nour

Salaam Alaikum,

Talk to your mother in the right away. Approach her in a careful and gentle manner. Talk about Tawheed, risala and akhira. Be simple and show her some ayahs that prove the oneness of Allah (SWT).

Mikaeel

End of Replies

We can see from these replies and other replies, that brothers and sisters have different experiences with their family and friends. Some have very difficult time initially others do not have difficult times. Some their parents and friends are even supportive eventually.

It is best that those who convert to Islam openly declare that they are Muslim. So that they can practice their Islam fully. If they hide it then they will end up neglecting their Islamic duties and when you neglect your duties them you will not feel the sweetness of the faith fully.

On the authority of Abdullah bin Abbas, who said : One day I was behind the prophet and he said to me:

“Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” (narrated by Termithi, who said it is true and fine hadith)

Popularity: 3% [?]

It is essential that one attributes his or her linnage to his or her biological  father (by having their second name as son of so and so and daughter of so and so).

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever claims knowingly to belong to someone other than his father will be denied Paradise.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari and Muslim, Fath, no. 3982).

He also said: “Whoever claims to belong to someone other than his father, will be cursed by Allaah, the angels and all the people, and Allaah will not accept any deeds or excuses from him on the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, no. 2433).

Those who are adopted or fostered must be given the name of their real father and not the person adopting or fostering them.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” [al-Ahzaab 33:5].

Lets now learn how to change your name.

Lets first learn two import terms
1. Ibn this means son of
2. Bint this means Daughter of

1. If you are Male and you have decided you like a certian name. Then your full name will be as follows:

Chosen name ibn-fathers name

Let us assume that Bilal is a name which you have chosen for your self and your fathers name is John Smith. Then your full name will be

Bilal ibn John (which means Bilal son of John)

2. If you are Female and you have decided you like a certian name. Then your full name will be as follows:

Chosen name bint-fathers name

Let us assume that Ayesha is a name which you have chosen for your self and your fathers name is John Smith. Then your full name will be

Ayesha bint John (which means Ayesha daughter of John)

Prohibited (haraam) Names

Names indicating Enslavement to or worship of anything other than Allaah are haram. Among the names which express enslavement to or worship of anything other than Allaah are ‘Abd al-Rasool (”slave of the Messenger”), ‘Abd al-Nabi (”slave of the Prophet”)  Ghulam Rasool (slave of the Messenger in Urdu) and ‘Abd al-Ameer (slave of the prince) and other names which imply worship of or submission to anything other than Allaah.

The person who has a name like this must change it. The great Sahaabi ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: My name was ‘Abd ‘Amr ” or according to one report, ‘Abd al-Ka’bah ” and when I became Muslim, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called me ‘Abd al-Rahmaan. (Narrated by al-Haakim, 3/306. Al-Dhahabi agreed with him)

Hadith - Bukhari 1:110, Narrated Abu Huraira

The Prophet said, “Name yourselves with my name (use my name) but do not name yourselves with my Kunya name (i.e. Abul Qasim)….”

Hadith - Muslim 5331, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah

Allah’s Messenger decided to forbid (his followers) to name persons as Ya’la (Elevated), Barakah (Blessing), Aflah (Successful), Yasar and Nafi’, but I saw that he kept silent after that and he did not say anything until Allah’s Messenger died. And he did not forbid (his followers to do this), then Umar decided to prohibit (people) from giving these names, but later on gave up the idea.

Disliked Names

Hadith - Bukhari (#819), Muslim, Abu Dawud, and Tirmidhi

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet of Allah said, “The name most detested by Allah is ‘Malik Al-Amlak’ (’King of Kings.’)”

Hadith - Muwatta 54.24

Malik related to me from Yahya ibn Said that the Messenger of Allah asked about a milk camel about to be milked, “Who milks this camel?” A man stood up. The Messenger of Allah said, “What is your name?” The man said, “Murra (bitterness).” The Messenger of Allah said to him, “Sit down.” Then he said, “Who milks this one?” A man stood up and the Messenger of Allah said, “What is your name?” He said, “Harb (war).” The Messenger of Allah, said, “Sit down.” Then he said, “Who milks this camel?” A man stood up, and the Messenger of Allah, said to him, “What is your name?” The man said, ”Yaish (he lives).” The Messenger of Allah, said to him, “Milk!“

Changing to better Names

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to change bad names to good ones.

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #4774, Narrated ‘Aisha, “The Prophet used to change a bad name.”

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that a daughter of ‘Umar was called ‘Aasiyah (disobedient), but the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) renamed her Jameelah (beautiful). Narrated by Muslim, 2139.

Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 8.212, Narrated Abu Huraira, “Zainab’s original name was “Barrah,” but it was said, “By that she is giving herself the prestige of piety.” So the Prophet changed her name to Zainab.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6190) from Ibn al-Musayyab that his father came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he said, “What is your name?” He said, “Hazn (meaning rough).”He said, “You are Sahl (meaning easy).”He said, “I will not change the name that my father gave to me.” Ibn al-Musayyab said, “And we have had roughness (in character) ever since.”

Roughness means being harsh and difficult to deal with.

Ibn Battaal said:

This shows that improving names and changing names to something better is not something that is obligatory.

And if it had been obligatory, the Sahaabi would not have refused to change his name, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have compelled him to change his name.

Abu Dawud said: The Prophet changed the names al-’As, Aziz, Atalah, Shaytan, al-Hakam, Ghurab, Hubab, and Shihab and called him Hisham. He changed the name Harb (war) and called him Silm (peace). He changed the name al-Munba’ith (one who lies) and called him al-Mudtaji’ (one who stands up). He changed the name of a land Afrah (barren) and called it Khadrah (green). He changed the name Shi’b ad-Dalalah (the mountain path of a stray), the name of a mountain path and called it Shi’b al-Huda (mountain path of guidance). He changed the name Banu az-Zinyah (children of fornication) and called them Banu ar-Rushdah (children of those who are on the right path), and changed the name Banu Mughwiyah (children of a woman who allures and goes astray), and called them Banu Rushdah (children of a woman who is on the right path). AbuDawud said: I omitted the chains of these for the sake of brevity.

Most Beloved Names

It was narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh (2132) from the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The most beloved of your names to Allaah are ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.””

Abu Dawood (4950) narrated that Abu Wahb al-Jushami, who was a companion of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Give your children the names of Prophets, and the most beloved of names to Allaah are ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, and the most truthful are Haarith and Hammaam [these names both refer to one who is always doing something, whether good or bad], and the worst are Harb and Murrah [meaning ‘war’ and ‘bitterness’ respectively].” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

Naming after a prophet

Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 8.218, Narrated Abu Musa

I got a son and I took him to the Prophet who named him Ibrahim, and put in his mouth the juice of a date fruit (which be himself had chewed, and invoked for Allah’s blessing upon him, and then gave him back to me. He was the eldest son of Abu Musa.

Hadith - Abu Dawood, Narrated AbuWahb al-Jushami

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Call yourselves by the names of the Prophets. The names dearest to Allah are Abdullah and AbdurRahman, the truest are Harith and Hammam, and the worst are Harb and Murrah.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Question :

I want to give my son a name. What is the Islamic guidelines on this?

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

No doubt the matter of giving names is one of the most important issues in people’s lives, because a person’s name is a title which says something about him, and is essential for communicating with him. It is an adornment and symbol for the person, by which he is called in this world and in the Hereafter. It is indicative of the religion to which he belongs, and makes him feel that he is one of the followers of that religion. It gives an impression of him to other people, and in their view it is like a garment – if it is too long or too short, it does not look right.

The basic principle concerning names is that they are permissible, but there are some matters which are prohibited according to sharee’ah and should be avoided when choosing names. These include the following:

- Enslavement to or worship of anything other than Allaah, including Prophets and angels. It is not permissible to be enslaved to or to worship anyone or anything other than Allaah at all. Among the names which express enslavement to or worship of anything other than Allaah are ‘Abd al-Rasool (“slave of the Messenger”), ‘Abd al-Nabi (“slave of the Prophet”) and ‘Abd al-Ameer (slave of the prince) and other names which imply worship of or submission to anything other than Allaah. The person who has a name like this must change it. The great Sahaabi ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: My name was ‘Abd ‘Amr – or according to one report, ‘Abd al-Ka’bah – and when I became Muslim, the Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called me ‘Abd al-Rahmaan. (Narrated by al-Haakim, 3/306. Al-Dhahabi agreed with him)

- Names of Allaah which are befitting only for Him, may He be glorified, such as al-Khaaliq (the Creator), al-Raaziq (the Provider), al-Rabb (the Lord), al-Rahmaan (the Most Merciful), etc., which are names that befit only Allaah; names which describe attributes which are true only of Allaah, such as Malik al-Mulook (King of kings), al-Qaahir (the Subduer), etc. It is haraam to call people by these names, and they must be changed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Do you know of any who is similar to Him?” [Maryam 19:65].

- Names that belong exclusively to the kuffaar and are not used by anyone else, such as ‘Abd al-Maseeh (“slave of the Messiah”), Butrous (Peter), Jurjus (George), and other names which denote religions of kufr.

- Names of idols and false gods which are worshipped instead of Allaah, such as naming someone after a devil and so on.

It is not permissible to call people after the names referred to above; indeed, doing so is haraam and anyone who has such a name is obliged to change it.

- It is makrooh (disliked) to use names which have off-putting meanings, either because the meaning is ugly or because it will provoke others to make fun of the person. Such names also go against the teaching of the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who commanded us to give beautiful names. Examples of such (objectionable) names include Harb (“war”), Rashaash (sprinkles or drizzle), and Hiyaam – which is the name of a disease suffered by camels – and other names which have ugly or unpleasant meanings.

- It is makrooh to use names which have alluring or provocative meanings. This happens a lot when it comes to naming girls, where some names are given which have sexual or provocative meanings.

- It is makrooh to deliberately name someone after immoral people such as singers and actors/actresses, etc. If they have good names, it is permissible to use those names, but it must be because of the meaning of the name and not because of the desire to imitate those people.

- It is makrooh to give names which have meanings that refer to sin, such as Saariq (“thief”) or Zaalim (“wrongdoer”); or to give the names of Pharaohs or sinners, such as Fir’awn (Pharaoh), Haamaan (the name of Pharaoh’s minister) and Qaaroon.

- It is makrooh to use the names of animals which are well-known for their undesirable characteristics, such as al-Himaar (donkey), al-Kalb (dog), al-Qird (monkey), etc.

- It is makrooh to use any name which is added to the words “al-Deen” or “al-Islam” (i.e., names which appear in idaafah – genitive construction – with these words), such as Noor al-Deen (“light of the religion”), Shams al-Deen (“sun of the religion”), Noor al-Islam (“light of Islam”), Shams al-Islam (“sun of Islam”), etc., because these names give a person more than he deserves. The scholars of the Salaf disliked being given nicknames of this sort. Imaam al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) disliked his nickname of Muhiy al-Deen (“reviver of the religion”); Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) also disliked his nickname of Taqiy al-Deen (“piety of the religion”), and he used to say, “But my family gave me this nickname and it became well-known.”

- It is makrooh to add any word to the name of Allaah except the word ‘Abd (slave), as in ‘Abd-Allaah (Abdullah). Example of this include Hasab-Allaah, Rahmat-Allaah (the mercy of Allaah), etc. It is similarly makrooh to add words to the word al-Rasool (the Messenger).

- It is makrooh to use the names of angels, or to call people after the names of soorahs in the Qur’aan, such as Ta-Ha, Yaa-Seen, etc. These names are al-Huroof al-Muqatta’ah (letters which appear at the beginning of some soorahs; their meaning is known only to Allaah – Translator), they are not names of the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). See Tuhfat al-Mawdood by Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him), p 109.

These names are makrooh, and it is makrooh to give them to anyone. But if a person has been given such a name by his family, and he is grown up and it is difficult for him to change it, he does not have to do so.

There are four categories of good names:

The first (best) category is the names ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan. It was reported that the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The most beloved of names to Allaah are ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.” (Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh, 1398).

The second category is all the names which express enslavement to and worship of Allaah, such as ‘Abd al-Azeez, ‘Abd al-Raheem, ‘Abd al-Malik, ‘Abd al-Ilaah, ‘Abd al-Salaam, etc.

The third category is the names of Prophets and Messengers – may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon them. Undoubtedly the best and greatest of them is our Prophet Muhammad  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him); the name Ahmad is also one of his names. Next come the names of the “Messengers of strong will” [cf. Al-Ahqaaf 46:35], namely Ibraaheem, Moosa, ‘Eesa and Nooh (may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon them), then the rest of the Prophets - may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon them.

The fourth category is the names of righteous slaves of Allaah, above all the companions of our noble Prophet. It is mustahabb to use their names, following their example and hoping to reach a higher status.

The fifth category is any other good name which has a proper and pleasant meaning.

It is good to pay attention to a number of matters when giving names to our children, including the following:

1. Recognizing the fact that this name will stay with the person for his entire lifetime, and it could cause some embarrassment or problems for him which in turn could make him feel badly towards his father, mother or whoever gave him this name.

2. When looking at names in order to choose one, we should look at it from a number of angles. We should look at the name itself, and also think of how it will sound when this person is a child, a youth, an adult, an old man and a father, and how it will suit his father to be called “Abu” (Father of) So and so, and how it will suit his son to be called Son and so son of So and so, etc.

3. Choosing the name is the right of the father, because he is the one after whom the child will be named (son of, or daughter of…). But it is mustahabb for the father to involve the mother in the decision and to ask for her opinion as to whether she thinks the name is good, so that she will feel happy.

4. The child must be named after his father even if the father is deceased or divorced, etc., even if he does not take care of the child or see him at all. It is utterly haraam to name a child after anyone other than his father, except in one case, which is when the child is born as the result of adultery (Allaah forbid). In this case the child should be named after his mother and it is not permissible to name him after his father.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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Question :

I read that upon getting married a female should not change her last name to that of her husband because that is like claiming to belong to a family or someone that she doesn’t, and that she should keep her father’s last name.
I understand that, but what do you do if you don’t know your father’s last name. Should you keep that name of your mother’s family? I currently have my mother’s family name. I plan to change my first name to an Islamic name, should I do the same for my last name?

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

It is haraam for a person to call himself after anyone other than his father, or after people to whom he does not belong. This was stated in the saheeh hadeeth narrated from Abu Dharr, who heard the Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “There is no one who knowingly calls himself after someone other than his father, but he is guilty of Kufr…”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3371; Muslim, 61).

According to the version narrated by al-Bukhaari: “who calls himself after people to whom he does not belong…”

Falsely attributing a person to people he does not belong to results in violation of the laws of Mahram (close blood ties dictating who is and is not permissible for marriage), inheritance, custody, guardianship in marriage, etc.

With regard to what should be done, we put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows:

She cannot take the name of anyone other than her family, and it is not permissible to do so. She has to change her name.

If she does not know her father’s name or family, she can call herself by a general name such as Faatimah bint ‘Abd-Allaah or Faatimah bint ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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If someone converts to Islam does he or she need to change their name?

A person who has converted to Islam does not need to change their name unless their name embodies the worship of  someone or some thing other than God.

Thus if the original name does not comprise or imply something forbidden in Islam., then he or she is permitted to retain it.

However, some say it is preferable to change ones name to an Islamic name it will also distinguish him or her from the non -Muslims. But it is not mandatory.

There are some names that are more beloved to Allah than others and certain names that are forbiden (haram) and certain ones that are disliked (makroo).

It is according to the sunnah (the examples of the Prophet’s life what he said, did, implemented, how he implemented), to change a bad name (whether it is an Arabic name or any other language) immediately, and it is permissible according to sunnah to exchange a name for a better one.

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Islamic system of naming

Changing your name upon getting married is not allowed

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My wife’s mother has in effect cut herself off from her daughter in recent times. Whilst there was some form of communication it was often quite turbulent and heated. My wife has tried a number of times to re-establish contact yet her mother refuses, quite stubbornly, to reply. We are both reverts and have often felt that our acceptance of the religion has played some part in her mother’s negative attitude. I would be grateful if you could advise us on what me might possibly do to rectify this situation.
Jazak Allahu Khairan

Answer

Praise be to Allah

The reactions of non-muslim mothers towards their children’s embracement of Islam varies. Some mothers are peaceful and passive considering this as a personal matter which does not affect the relationship between the mother and her son or daughter. In such cases more piety by the child towards his or her mother will make the mother admire and respect Islam.

Other mothers adopts a more stubborn approach at the beginning but the mother finally gives in and accepts the new religion as a fact of life after she sees the child’s determination and persistence which could lead the mother herself to embrace Islam.

In the third case we find that some mothers are constantly stubborn to the extent that she might hurt and oppress her son or daughter. Usually such mothers are blindly prejudice because they consider that her son or daughter had gone astray by leaving the faith of his fathers and ancestors and she must do something to help go back to the right path (according to the mother).

The following are three stories that took place at the time of the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, that involved three of the Sahaba (Companions of the Prophet, Peace and Blessings be Upon Him) which illustrates the reactions of their mothers after they embraced Islam:

Story #1

On the authority of Asmaa’ Bint Abi Bakr she said “My mother came to visit me one day. At that time she was still a polytheist and there was a pledge between the Prophet, Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, and Quraish (one of the great tribes in Arabia that lived in Mecca in the pre Islamic Period of Ignorance who used to enjoy great spiritual and financial powers). I requested the Prophet’s , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, religious verdict and said: Oh Prophet of Allah, my mother came to visit me, seeking my help; should I keep a good relationship with her? Yes, keep a good relation with her said the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him:. Reported by Bukhari and Muslim, and this narration is listed in Sahih Muslim under # 1003.

In another version narrated by Ahmad, on the authority of Asmaa’ Bint Abi Bakr she said ” My mother came to visit me when she was still a polytheist and she was living amongst Quraish. She was desirous, meaning in need, so I asked the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, and said: Oh Prophet of Allah my mother came to me and she is a polytheist and she needs help. Should I keep a good relationship with her? He said yes maintain a good relationship with her.

Story #2

On the authority of Abu-Huraira, who said: I used to call my mother to Islam when she was still a polytheist. One day, while I was calling her she mentioned something about the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, that I detested. So I went to see the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, while crying and told him: I used to call my mother to Islam and she would refuse. I called her today and she mentioned something about you that I detested. Please invoke the blessings and guidance of Allah on her. Then the Prophet, Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, said: O Great Allah guide the mother of Abu-Huraira. So I left full of hope because of the Prophet’s supplication for my mother. When I reached home I found that the door was partially closed. My mother heard my footsteps and said: Stay still Abu-Huraira, then I heard the water running; he added my mother performed body ablution, put on her cloths and hurriedly opened the door without her head-cover and said: “None has the right to be worshipped but Allah and Muhammad, Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, is the Messenger of Allah”. I went back to the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, crying of joy and told him: I am bringing you good news; Allah answered your prayers and guided the mother of Abu-Huraira. The Prophet, Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, praised and glorified Allah and said: this is good. I said: Oh Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah to make me and my mother beloved by Allah’s believing slaves and make us love them. The Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, said: Oh Allah, make this little slave of Yours and his mother (meaning Abu-Huraira and his mother) become beloved by your believing slaves and make the believers love them. Ever since, there was not a believer who heard of me, even without seeing me, that did not love me. Reported by Muslim in Sahih Muslim (Muslim Authentic volumes) under # 2491.

Story # 3

On the authority of Saa’d (Ibn Abi Waqas May Allah be pleased with him) who said that verses of the Qur’an revealed his story. He said Um Saa’d (his mother) swore not to talk to him ever nor eat or drink until he renounces Islam. She said: You claim that Allah commanded you to obey your parents. I am your mother and I order you to do this ( to renounce Islam). He said: She stayed with nothing to eat or drink for three days until she fainted because of strain. Then one of her other sons named Umarah gave her water to drink. And she started to imprecate against Saa’d, then Allah revealed this verse in the Qur’an, which translates to the meaning of {And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do} Verse 29:8 - Surah 29, Al Ankabut. This Hadith is narrated by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad and in Sahih Muslim in his Sahih under # 1748.

Also, Allah revealed another verse in the Qur’an, which translates to:

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that if which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do”( 31:15 - Surah Luqman).

Based on the above stories one can determine how to deal with a non believing mother and can draw the following significant conclusions:

1. The importance of good presentation of Islam to the non believing mother and to try to kindly persuade her and to strive to convince her as Abu Huraira did (story # 1)

2. Continue to do good to the non believing mother and to remember that her disbelief does not justify disobedience by the son or daughter and that doing her good does not contradict with your innocence of her as a non believer, on the contrary as it is stated in Verse 31:15 above, Allah has commanded us to treat the non believing parents kindly even if they strive to make their child a polytheist because of their rights as parents hoping that they will embrace Islam.

3. Continue to sincerely pray and supplicate for the non believing mother hoping that Allah may guide her, as evident in Abu Huraira’s story (story #2).

4. The divine guidance of Allah may come after continuous strive by the child and strong objection of the mother as in Abu Huraira’s story, therefore the son should never surrender or give up but should continue to pray and supplicate for the non believing mother.

5. Regardless of how hard does the non believing mother strive to make the son renounces Islam, and the pressure she will exercise against her son such as refusing to eat or invoking upon him , the son should never surrender or give in nor should he retrocede away from the righteous path as one of the Sahaba said to his non believing mother in a similar situation: :If you had one hundred (100) souls and it all left your body one after the other I will never give up my religion (Islam)”.

It seems that the mother in question deliberately oppresses her daughter through estrangement which makes her emotional torn but that should never weaken the Muslim or shake his faith and belief in his religion. There is no objection to make the non believing mother understand that you are not going to retrocede , however she (the mother) can kindly ask for anything and she will be immediately answered to it except for giving up this religion.

We ask Allah to quickly guide her to the righteous path and give you patience to call her to Islam and lead you to the righteous and correct way

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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It is obligatory to make the pilgrimage to Mecca, at least once in a lifetime. Muslims from all walks of life, from every corner of the globe assemble in Mecca in response to the call of Allah. It is to commemorate the Divine rituals observed by the Prophet Abraham and his son Ishmael, who were the first pilgrims to the house of Allah on earth: the Ka’bah. It is also to remember the great assembly of the Day of Judgement when people will stand equal before Allah. Muslims go to Mecca to glorify Allah, not to worship a man. The visit to the tomb of Prophet Muhammad at Madena is highly recommended but not essential in making the Hajj valid and complete.

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The pilgrimage to Makkah (the hajj) is an obligation only for those who are physically and financially able to do so. Nevertheless, over two million people go to Makkah each year from every corner of the globe providing a unique opportunity for those of different nations to meet one another.

The annual hajj begins in the twelfth month of the Islamic year (which is lunar, not solar, so that hajj and Ramada-n fall sometimes in summer, sometimes in winter). Pilgrims wear special clothes: simple garments that strip away distinctions of class and culture, so that all stand equal before God.

The rites of the hajj, which are of Abrahamic origin, include going around the Ka’bah seven times, and going seven times between the hills of Safa and Marwa as did Hagar (Hajir, Abraham’s wife) during her search for water. The pilgrims later stand together on the wide plains of ‘Arafat (a large expanse of desert outside Makkah) and join in prayer for God’s  forgiveness, in what is often thought as a preview of the Day of Judgment.

The close of the hajj is marked by a festival, the ‘Id al Adha, which is celebrated with prayers and the exchange of gifts in Muslim communities everywhere. This and the ‘Id al Fitr, a festive day celebrating the end of Ramada-n, are the two holidays of the Islamic calendar.

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Hajj, the pilgrimage to Makkah, is the fifth pillar and the most significant manifestation of Islamic faith and unity in the world. For those Muslims who are physically and financially able to make the journey to Makkah, the Hajj is a once in a lifetime duty that is the peak of their religious life. The Hajj is a remarkable spiritual gathering of over two million Muslims from all over the world to the holy city. In performing the Hajj, a pilgrim follows the order of ritual that the Prophet Muhammad performed during his last pilgrimage.

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